![]() This past weekend I decided to watch the heavily talked about Netflix movie, Nappily Ever After. Five minutes into the movie, I knew I was going to love it and not for the reason I typically love movies. I knew that this movie was going to spark my creative side and influence a much needed blog post. This film reminded me how often we allow others to dictate the way we live our lives and how we often live the realities of what our parents and managers expect of us. Also, the movie touched on the idea that black women are limited in their expression and freedom in their professional jobs. The overall goal of the movie was to enforce self-love, destroy stereotypes, and uplift black women. In the film, Violet (the lead actress played by the amazing Sanaa Lathan) began living a lifestyle that wasn't unique to herself. As a black woman, her mother always enforced the idea of having straight hair and not allowing others to see her "natural hair." Her mother followed the motto of "act as the woman who attracts the man you wish to marry." The lack of self expression as a child and pressure to carrying yourself as a way to please others are both toxic traits that are commonly observed in the black community. Violet carried these ways of life with her into adulthood and allowed them to influence her relationships with herself and others. Her level of perfection became something that was always expected of her which never truly allowed her to be free and vulnerable. She became fixated on finding the perfect man that loved the perfect her, rather than finding the man that loved her in spite of her flaws and insecurities. The pivotal moment in this movie was the scene in which Violet shaved all of her hair off. Violet was then able to love herself and no longer live under the expectations of other people. She was able to find companionship in a man who loved her as she was. She was able to love herself again while being reminded of the goals and expectations she set for HERSELF. The film did an incredible job at showing how black women's capabilities are limited in their professional jobs. In the film, Violet worked as a creative director who often dominated commercials related to women's beauty products such as lipstick and hair care products. After shaving her head, Violent realized that her boss was not allowing her to express herself to her full creative potential. Violet attempted to turn the tables and work on a proposal for a beer commercial in which she was denied the opportunity to use her idea as her boss enjoyed the other employee's pitch. In this moment, Violet knew her worth and decided to quit her job. The purpose of this scene was to illustrate that we often times get stuck in positions that no longer allow us to grow. Just because we are good at one thing, does not mean that we are excluded from being good at other things. Don't allow other people's expectations of you limit the expectations you have for yourself. It is important to walk away from situations and careers that limit your expression, flexibility, and creativity as they inhibit your growth and limit your diversity as an employee. One of my favorite moments in the film was being able to watch the development of the relationship between Violet and Zoe (young black girl in the film). Initially, the relationship started off rocky as Violet insulted Zoe for rocking her "natural hair." Their relationship began to progress after Violet realized that Zoe's mother wasn't in her life and that much of Zoe's actions were a reflection of her desire to have that mother-daughter relationship. Watching their relationship progress quickly became one of my favorite moments as I realized how important it is for black women to mentor young black girls. It is important to remind them how beautiful they are despite living in a society that dismisses them as "beautiful." It is important to uplift young black girls as many of them deal with insecurities and plenty of self-doubt. It is important to remove patterns of toxicity previously observed in the black community to encourage self-confidence, self-awareness, and self-love in young black girls. Violet was this mentor for Zoe that many young black girls hope and dream for. So why must every black girl see Nappily Ever After? This movie reminds black girls how to love one's self, how to destroy and remove forced expectations, and how to uplift other black girls. Much of our true happiness is never achieved until we are living the lives that we want to live. Much of our true happiness is easily fulfilled by giving back to those in need and uplifting those in need. Much of our true happiness is obtained when we remind ourself of OUR life goals and continue to do meaningful work that allows us to grow mentally and spiritually. So do yourself a favor and watch this movie ASAP. -The Jay- Word
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